This is a poem I wrote ten years ago, in ten minutes, about a very specific experience which is yet shared by many. Now another loss is happening, which sometimes feels almost overwhelming, so the poem now has an added context. It came back to mind just now, and it feels right to share it.
The water metaphor, and some of the words themselves, derive from Margaret Atwood's 'Cat's Eye', one of my favourite books.
What was lost?
Where is it?
How can I get back to it?
How can I find it?
So I can be whole again?
So I can be me?
The past is a well of water
where memories are seen murkily
lost forever through the darkness of time.
But love and hurt remain.
The heart’s memory is clear as a fresh window pane.
The beloved’s love is retained, is welling up.
Her name is Michael.
What was lost is here, within me.
Nothing goes away.